I was born and bought up in a family where Eve teasing was not a taboo. It was in fact a favorite activity during any family get together. My father had a natural ability to tease. And he had so many eves around him to tease. My mausi (mom’s sister), four mamis (mom’s brother’s wives) , my tai ji (his bhabhi), they all loved Dabboo Dada (my dad). The things he said to them, made them blush, though I could hardly understand the meaning at that time. Now when I recollect, I smile at the double meaning sentences he spoke, some times bordering to vulgarity. His was a Mazaak ka rishta with them, he told me.
So teasing females came naturally to me. I used to tease my sisters till they wept. Throwing their dolls over the almira, drawing Kaajal mustaches over their faces while they slept, stealing their “Dear Diary” and then reading it aloud at dinner, were some of my favorite activities. My next target were the girls in my neighborhood. Making faces at them, tying their ponytails to the chairs, calling them names. They cried, complained to my parents, but then came again the next day to play with us. My dad told that teasing was a fun activity which promoted bonding .He said it unites people while embarrassing them and expresses affection though humiliation. Ironic, isn’t it !!
Later through my psychology books, I learnt more about this behavior. Teasing has been described by psychologists as privileged disrespect, playful annoyance, and a mock insult. The contradictory nature of this word is best conveyed through its derivation. Teasing roots from the Anglo-Saxon word taesan (to tear apart) and the French word attiser (to make warm). Teasing ranges from playful joking to aggressive bullying and can be expressed both physically and verbally. While bullying takes the form of hitting, kicking and other violent behaviors, teasing is manifested through nicknames, facial gestures and taunting .
Teasing is a pervasive activity that occurs in most group contexts including family, friends, coworkers and teammates. While teasing is commonly thought of as an ostracizing mechanism, new research has suggested that teasing actually facilitates bonds within a group and acts as an indicator of intimacy. While teasing is most prevalent among group members who are familiar with one another, teasing can be used among strangers to communicate friendliness and indirectly express affection. Thus, teasing can actually integrate the rookie by revealing both the norms of the group as well as the status of it’s members.
So convinced that teasing is a harmless activity, I continued this habit of teasing my female classmates in my medical university too. It appeared that they enjoyed it too as they started calling me Mickey (Mouse). It never occurred to me that teasing, or rather eve teasing could be a crime. Until I read a news item about a girl, Sarika Shah. She , a student of Ethiraj College in Chennai, fell victim to eve-teasing in the vicinity of her college; she was manhandled and the injuries she sustained proved fatal. It was then that I realised eve teasing could be hurtful, humiliating and sometimes dangerous, even fatal.
I was convinced that eve teasing is a menace which has to be tackled, but remained indifferent to the problem. That was till my daughter became a teenager this month, and the starting of Blank Noise Project in Lucknow. I know something has to be done. We can not remain a mute spectator any more. and BNP is the first step in right direction.